Harry Potter and the Witch Hunter of Oxford Cross

Harry swore loudly as his nosebleed hex dissipated harmlessly into the haze of sage smoke.

"You won't get away from me, you snotty little witch."

The smoke began to waft away in soft curls as a man in a beige Mackintosh approached him coolly. The man struck a match across his gaunt scruffy cheeks and lit a cigarette.

"Expelliarmus!" Harry shouted. Something heavy and metal clattered to the floor and made a loud twanging sound. Ice seemed to pulse from his shoulder as Harry blindly grabbed toward what seemed to be a crossbow bolt jutting from his left arm.

"If you broke my crossbow, I'll flay you alive you little bugger," cried a gruff voice.

Harry sank to the ground blood running in a steady stream from his arm to the alley floor.

"Inflagrate," roared Harry desperately.

The man's coat began smoking, as he removed it and threw it over Harry in one graceful motion. The white hot coat singed his hair and began to burn through his jumper. Harry screamed in pain as he shrugged off the coat.

He raised his wand once more, and heard a snap, not unlike breaking a celery stalk in two, as a hobnailed boot connected with, and consequently broke, his wrist. The holly wand fell to the floor with a mundane tap. Screaming in agony and holding his wrist, he looked up to examine his attacker with tear laden eyes.

John Constantine looked down on him, still dragging greedily from his cigarette.

"Thought you could get away after blowing up your auntie, didja' Potter?"

"But... I... c-couldn't..." The words escaped with an edge of terror. Surely, they wouldn't send an auror to capture Harry for accidentally blowing up his aunt?

Constantine pulled a worn leather pouch from his pocket and undid the drawstring. As he pulled out a handful of what looked like ashes he inhaled deeply on his cigarette and blew smoke into the boy's lightning-scarred face.

"These ashes are all that remains of very powerful minion of the dark lord-"

"Voldemort!" Harry said in surprise.

"Vol- what? No you little shit, Satan. Dark lord of the nine hells? Lucifer the Morningstar? First among the fallen? Nevermind." Constantine said with mild frustration, "These ashes were once the body of Mordrian, arch-duke of the seventh circle. They," he said as he drew them in a circle over Harry's battered supine body, "will prevent you from escaping through means of sorcery, witchcraft, or powers of the weirding."

Harry was flabbergasted. Who was this man, and why was he keeping him here?

"As you have proven yourself to be a danger to the human population, you must be eliminated." Constantine intoned.

"But, why me? Why not Voldemort!"

"Should I even ask?"

"He's the most dangerous dark wizard of all time! I'm just a kid."

"Child or no, you are dangerous, easily apprehended, and, this might be the more important part, too pathetic to be working alone." Constantine punctuated this last statement by closing the circle and muttering something in what Harry thought must be latin. "There now, cozy? Let's just wait here for your mates. Ought to be here any second."

Purple Rain

"That ain’t Lake Minnetonka" said the Kid, a knowing smile spreading across his face.

Appolonia’s jaw dropped as she stood shivering on the muddy shores of whatever god-forsaken lake the Kid had dragged her to. Not Lake Minnetonka? No sooner had she found the appropriate insult to hurl in the Kid’s direction than he was already revving his motorcycle, tires spinning and flinging mud all over her naked body.

“You bastard!” She turned to protect her face, mud splattering across her back.

The Kid smiled flirtatiously then revved his motorcycle again. It roared with power as he disappeared down the dirt trail leading back to the interstate, leaving Appolonia alone by the waterside.

“Oh my god. Oh my god.” She was cold, dripping wet and filthy. Abruptly, she realized that during their ride she had been so enamored by the Kid and his intoxicating personality that she wasn’t even sure where she was or how she had gotten there. No cellphone, no shoes, nothing.

The sound of the motorcycle was now a muted purr in the distance. Appolonia began to cry.

JPVP

Prologue

The Ancients have spoke of them. But even they have not hunted them. Nor the Ancients before them, nor the Ancients before them. They were hunted before we learned to harness the power of plasma into our weapons. When cloaking devices were just an idea. The trophies still exist, though. Skulls filled with teeth. Talons, still razor sharp after uncountable eons. And the stories. The stories more than anything. The first worthy prey, before the encounters with the Xenomorphs. They would've been a perfect match for us, save their one advantage: The Pack. Our people's pride never allowed for such methods. For how could one trophy, one skull, one spine, be split amongst many? So our hunt turned into a battle. The battle, into a war. The war into the slaughter of our race. Our spears were sharp, our discs flew true, our instincts served us well. But they were too many, and their cunning too great. We fought until only one of our kind remained. The honorable path for him to take would've been to end his own life, and take as many of these creatures with him. But he felt there was something to be learned, and shared with his clan. When he returned, he convinced the Ancients (yes, there were even ancients then...) that these creatures, though less intelligent, had an advantage in numbers, and communication amongst those numbers served them well. And they listened. He became known as The Last Lone One, and he is still honored to this day. Our clan began to hunt in groups. Hunting parties would train together, learn strategy. And even in teams of three, there were plenty of trophies to go around. Over the great expanse of time since then, much has changed. Our weapons have been improved. Our armor strengthened. Our star ships streamlined and faster. But always, the ghost of The Pack has haunted us. For before we could return, some other Great Hunter wiped them out completely. As time passed, their land was populated by new prey. We would return throughout the ages, and though we found worthy adversaries, none were as great as The Pack. And now, the rumors. Whispers across space. They have returned. Has the latest, Greatest Race uncovered their ancient bodies, resurrecting them for their own purposes? If this is so, they have no idea what they have unleashed upon themselves. Fortunate for them, then, my brothers and I have been chosen to be the first of our kind to hunt The Pack again.

[Translated from the native tongue of the Predator]

Wolf

It was midnight, but the light from the moon lit up her room so that she could easily mistake it as being earlier in the evening. The rest of the village was asleep, as far as she could tell... but it was not so easy for her to sleep when rumors of werewolves had been the subject at supper.
Nobody in the town had visited with each other since Cody and Gabba died. Cody had been savagely ripped apart in his sleep by a murderer, and Gabba took his own life the next morning after he had heard the news. Although the town seemed to frown on their unusually close friendship, they did not take kindly to the news of a murderer and the way they seemed to go about murdering. Now she was hearing a noise outside of her window, and she decided that she would peak... but very carefully as to not be spotted.
There was a wolf, but she recognized it's face. Meg is the wolf, the look on her face was giving her away! The town must be warned! However, another wolf seemed to be crawling out of the shadows, and the little girl ducked quickly to avoid giving the position inside her bedroom away. If they were to see her, they would surely eat her but she couldn't help but rising up to the window again for another look. She would have to identify the second wolf.
It wasn't hard, and she took pride in the fact that it was the first person she had suspected at the dinner table. Her own sister.... Madeline. Of course it's Madeline! Now the little girl had to be extra cautious, even though she suspected that Madeline would either kill her tonight, or try and blame her for being the wolf later. But wait.. yet another wolf had come around the corner... this time with a victim. It was Wendy... of course, Wendy.... and she was dragging the old lady who lived on top of the hill behind her.
The little girl could not bare to watch what happened next, and did not dare move. She did not want to make a sound, even though she doubt they could hear her over the sound of their teeth scraping against bone and digging out flesh from the poor old woman. It wasn't long till the smacking of tongues against lips and horrible howls had let her know the feast was over. She heard the wolves scurry away and decided it was safe to peak once more, but she could never prepare herself for what would happen next.
The old woman was still alive, and she seemed to murmuring to herself while pointing a stick she had found on the ground over the parts of her body that were missing. Slowly and silently, the flesh was returning to her body and when she was all done it had seemed like a miracle. The old woman had even seemed to have grown younger for a minute, but then her face twisted and contorted into the most horrible scowl the little girl had ever seen. The witch had a dead chicken that seemed to have manifested out of thin air, and she was pouring a small vile of liquid on the back of it's feathers...




TO BE CONTINUED

Goldilocks and the Three Wookiees

*2nd page, 1st frame is suppose to say: "Not far away, lived a fair-haired little girl who had a similar nature to Baby Wookiee, only she was haughty and stuck up as well, and though Baby Wookiee often asked her to come and play at his house, she would decline his friendship."

unfortunately I had already deleted all of my project files, before checking for errors. Always save your work!

AVVP

Angry Velociraptors VS Predator, that is.The first in a multimedia series of The Predator visiting Jurassic Park

because someone's got to.

Skywalker fired his photon torpedos as his spidey-sense kicked in.  The Klingon Bird of Prey was now within range and teleported five face-huggers from its teleportation room on to the deck of the USS Enterprise.  Captain Skywalker jumped in his boots and yelled, "fire another photon torpedo!  This time with a gypsy curse!"  The Enterprise's gypsy quickly recited the curse and spat on the torpedo which gave it lethal potency.  The face huggers were already scampering towards the crew.  Skywalker jumped straight up, flipping over and clinging to the ceiling as he unsheathed his light saber and sliced the face huggers open.  Their concentrated acid blood spilled on to the transporters and began burning through the circuitry.  "Oh my god -- the teleporter is malfunctioning!  A rift in space-time is opening!" shouted Luke.  Without any hesitation Luke pulled the sheets from the unkempt bed where Sarah Conner still lay naked and began tying them together, forming a rope.  He tied one end to the ship's wheel and then, grasping the other, yelled "tally-ho" and jumped headlong into the dimensional vortex!